Textual descriptions of the events which occur during various heavy metal music videos.

13th October 2010


Korpiklaani – Wooden Pints

First, there is darkness. Then JONNE JÄRVELÄ, the singer of Korpiklaani, hits a tree stump with an axe. We cut to the exterior of a small wooden shed or latrine, just in time to see JAAKKO LEMMETTY kick open the door and emerge, wearing a kyrtle and playing a fiddle in an unconvincingly stern manner. It has already become apparent by this point that the video is completely out of synch with the sound, a situation that will continue throughout the entirety of the video. We cut backwards and forwards between Lemmetty, the rest of Korpiklaani pretending to play their unplugged instruments in some sort of ruined stone structure, and Järvelä singing on top of a rock. We notice during this extended sequence that whilst the rest of Korpiklaani have put a reasonable amount of effort into assembling pseudo-medieval costumes, guitarist TONI HONKANEN is just wearing his dressing gown and some cargo shorts. The camera lingers on a close-up of him for a considerable length of time as he plays a solo.

There are more intercuts of the camera panning across  the majestic wooded landscapes of Finland. Then we see scenes of the members of Korpiklaani sitting around a picnic table. They are drinking from clay mugs and eating various cuts of meat. Suddenly, they leap from the table and begin rolling around on the floor, wrestling each other. Honkanen is glimpsed assaulting one of his band mates with a small toy axe. The main solo over, we see that the band members have collapsed drunk in black and white. Järvelä grins and throws the horns from inside a small cave or overhang. Lemmetty once again plays his fiddle sternly, this time from inside the upper window of a picturesque woodland cabin. Järvelä toys with his axe, but the tree stumps of Karelia escape further molestation for the time being. The band plays on.